Parents, in power
Parents need to obsess about more than their rights. Responsibilities are important too.
The “parents’ rights” discussion engulfing politics right now asserts the authority of parents in educating children. Yet, it’s full of demands without a concurrent expectation of parental responsibilities.
Can any of us say that parents do all they can to produce healthy, well-adjusted, and educated young people?
It’s a third-rail question. Parents are infallible. Our rights are unquestionable.
Becoming a parent significantly contributes to civilization and demonstrates your commitment to your child's intellectual development. However, many of us feel undermined when interacting with schools. Instead of being seen as part of the solution, we often feel like we are part of the problem.
The thing that the “parents rights” folks get right is that parents seem to be accessories to public schooling rather than partners. Many of us get our kids to school and expect magic to happen.
We’ve been trained to be passive actors. Parents once held the primary authority in their children's lives, and schools were an extension of home learning, but over the past 150 years, education bureaucracy has excluded parents from the classroom and the school environment.
They have treated us as incapable, which over time, enfeebled us as if we were merely bystanders.
This must change. Educators must recognize a fundamental truth: schools do not have children; parents do. Yes, teachers are invaluable to the educative process. Without them, we can’t get far. But, it must be a partnership. We do are part, and they do theirs.
Research consistently demonstrates what educators already know: parental influence is crucial to a child's success. It’s to everyone’s benefit that schools collaborate with parents effectively.
The Color of Rights
Much of the “parents’ rights” movement isn’t about all parents. It’s about the grievances of moral mommies who want to filter books and ideas they deem to be politically incorrect from their children’s eyes and ears.
Diverse parents have other fish to fry. We have longstanding concerns about power imbalances and the fractured relationship between home and school, which in my opinion, has created greater marginalization of Black parents than almost anyone.
We don’t have sufficient movement. We don’t have passionate philanthropies or an opportunistic political party. We don’t have ambitious governors who risk short political careers if they don’t protect our rights.
What we have is a duty to fight for our children regardless.
For many of us, school wasn’t ideal in our childhood, so returning to school as parents has its triggers. Yet, for the sake of our children and their future, we must show up. We must reclaim our role as the protectors of young Black minds. We must build a self-determined parent-led effort save Black children.
And every system that aims to serve our kids must recognize us.
I want people to stop telling parents they need to be involved when what they need is their problems solved.
Stop demanding they be merely engaged. Educate everyone about the educational debt that goes unpaid.
The 5 R’s of Parental Guardianship
Parents don’t need to be empowered; they need to be in power. This concept is significantly different. Parents in power possess confidence in the 5 Rs of parental authority.
The 5 R's for Parents and Guardians Recognizing that children require informed, responsible, and capable advocates to reach their full potential, parents and guardians must embrace the following 5 R's.
Role - You are your child's unwavering defender of their future. You hold the highest authority in your child's development as a parent or guardian. No one has more expertise on your child than you do, and no one should talk down to you as if they are the ultimate authority. Your role as a parent encompasses biological, psychological, social, and financial dimensions. In education, your responsibilities include creating a safe and stimulating environment for your child's intellectual and social growth. To the best of your ability, you support their curiosity and facilitate positive interactions with people, the community, and nature. Above all, your role involves planning, managing, and overseeing every aspect of your child's development, including decisions about who, what, and where they learn.
Responsibilities - Legally and ethically, you are accountable for your child's well-being. You are responsible for providing your child with the necessities they need to thrive. This includes fostering information-rich learning environments at home and seizing all available learning opportunities within your local community. You are also responsible for initiating and nurturing productive relationships with the educators entrusted with your children's education. Visiting your child's school whenever possible would be best to ensure they receive the necessary support and encouragement to reach their full potential. Additionally, you must monitor progress reports from the school, identifying areas of progress or areas where improvement is needed.
Rights - You hold the majority of legal rights concerning your child. You can make critical decisions regarding your child's life and education. Access to a free education for your child is also your right. You are entitled to protection against any form of discrimination. Also, you have the right to access and obtain accurate information about your child's academic records and the ability to request corrections if any errors are present.
Rituals - You create the cultural context for your child's learning. Teach your child about Black history and culture. This can be accomplished through exploring family genealogy, utilizing photobooks and historical documents, conducting oral interviews with community elders, and engaging in discussions about family values, social expectations, responsibilities, and self-discipline. Establish a home library of books, artifacts, and games that reflect Black history and culture. Additionally, implement meaningful rites of passage that instill a sense of responsibility toward ancestors, family, and community while cultivating habits of community service. These rituals also help develop self-determination and essential skills like decision-making, goal-setting, and time management.
Results - You are ultimately responsible for your child's outcomes The most crucial aspect of the 5 R's is your role as the guardian, ensuring that all systems serving your child are monitored and evaluated. You must track the results of your child's education. Are they achieving proficiency in critical areas of study? Are they progressing socially and emotionally? Are their needs being met? You bear the ultimate accountability for your child's well-being and development.
Yes, parental rights should not be trampled on by external forces. Schools and lawmakers should hear us roar.
And, yet, there is another side to that story.
We should also show up with a collaborative spirit and a high sense of personal responsibility for the outcomes of our children.
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This was adapted from my contribution to “On Code,” the e-book produced by the 8 Black Hands.