We won't survive another generation of lost boys

Public schools have a huge role in arming young males with the social and emotional tools they need to thrive

Someone on TikTok recently said, "we don't have a gun problem in America. We have a man problem."

As proof, she said guns are equally accessible to women and men in this country, so why are men overwhelmingly the perpetrators of gun crimes? It's as if guys have trouble regulating our rage and responses to life's frustrations in a way that women do not.

I don't know enough about gun crimes to argue that issue, but I can see her point about the danger of disaffiliated males. These half-formed men-children who drink Joe Rogan's bathwater on their way to gamer conventions aren’t signaling great things for civilization.

Indeed, there is a guy problem that starts in youth.

Data from the National Institute of Mental Health shows that the suicide rate for males aged 15-24 is significantly higher than for their female counterparts. Additionally, a staggering 70% of opioid-related deaths are also male. Furthermore, young men face more difficulty attaining independence; of 18-29-year-olds, 55% of males still lived with their parents in July 2020 compared to just 49% of females.

The failure to launch trend is radicalizing young men and making them antisocial.

Then comes the "manosphere" to draw them into a diet of harmful media consumption and membership with online huddles of broken men who advocate a version of traditional masculine values that reject modern societal norms. They claim to be victims of oppressive feminist ideals and seek manly advice on relationships, work, and health from a syndicate of pick-up artists and pop-philosophy influencers like Jordan Peterson, Roosh V, Paul Elam, and Jack Donovan. These are nouveau televangelists in the emergent church of vengeful misogyny, counterproductive gender stereotypes, and white victimhood.

I’ll admit that the manosphere promotes at least one fair narrative. They say men are struggling in modern times due to the proliferation of pornography and a lack of solid masculine role models. Both of those problems are known to researchers to create detachment and alienation.

Yet, on the laughable end of this narrative, the makeshift leaders of the latter-day lost boys' movement become absurd when they lament falling testosterone levels in males and suggest testicular tanning is the cure as if roasting our nuts unlocks the superpowers of Zeus.

We can teach boys the skills that make for strong men

As an alternative to ceding the development of boys to the big tech-driven manosphere and its clickbait proselytizers of sexism, racism, homophobia, and grievance, public schools can be vital in helping boys develop the skills they need to self-regulate with social-emotional skills.

Schools provide the appropriate space for open and informed dialogue where professional teachers can help students identify and express their feelings in healthy ways. As a result, boys learn to manage stress, build positive relationships, communicate effectively with others, and practice empathy. Additionally, educating boys about respecting boundaries equips them to handle life's challenges without resorting to dangerous or harmful behaviors that could put themselves or others at risk.

We need to recognize the material threat of untethered young men and formulate policy enablers that provide the systemic support they need during their learning years.

We also need to quickly and resolutely attend to the attacks on social-emotional learning in schools coming from the manosphere’s right-wing sister, the Mommysphere, where years of sound education scholarship about child development go to be quickly converted into emotive slogans, and social media jump scares.

Their zealotry for whitewashing school curricula and setting the clock of social progress back to 1776, their favorite year, the new Lost Cause brigade, are attempting to rid schools of positive programming like SEL that makes schools and students safer and effective.

What should good citizens do?

Good people can’t stand by, while toxic moms with an abundance of free time destabilize our schools this way. Information and activism are the two best weapons. Engaging our school communities in fact-based dialogue that lifts the pro-social and academic benefits of SEL.

SEL has enjoyed support across the political spectrum. For example, a report by the conservative American Enterprise Institute and the centrist Brookings Institute, “despite their importance to education, employment, and family life, the major educational and social reforms of the K-12 system over the last few decades have not focused sufficiently on the socio-emotional factors that are crucial to learning.”

The American Public Health Association has found “statistically significant associations between measured social-emotional skills in kindergarten and key young adult outcomes across multiple domains of education, employment, criminal activity, substance use, and mental health.”

SEL benefits students of all racial and economic backgrounds, unlike many educational interventions.

Families, parents, guardians, and educators need the best practical guidance from this research to raise healthy, well-adjusted boys in a world with increasing social complexities.

Likewise, communities need public strategies to create spaces where boys feel welcome and supported instead of being ostracized and alone. We must defend public schools for their invaluable work on this front. Through Social and Emotional Learning (SEL), these institutions help students build a strong bond with their peers, gain better control over their feelings, set attainable goals, and make prudent decisions - all of which boost their chances of succeeding in school and life while making them less susceptible to the influence of the manosphere.